Let's start from the beginning.
All I know is that this all started with stains on my white sheets. No, it’s not what you’re thinking.
One morning I opened my eyes and looked down at the fitted bed sheet as I crawled out of bed and there it was. I stared at this dried up, dark red splooge on my white sheets. Where in TF did that come from?! I just put these sheets on yesterday! Was my husband picking his ingrown hairs again? (Damnit MJ. We just got these WHITE ass sheets). I won't make a fuss, I'll just throw them in the wash.
During that day I thought, Wait, what if it came from me? I didn't see any broken skin in the mirror this morning. No zits on my face this week. (Thank ya Lawd). So, where the hell else could it have come from? MJ. DEFINITELY MJ.
I took my nude colored bra off that night and what do I see in the left bra cup? More of that same splooge that I found on the bed sheets. Little tiny dots. Ok. It’s time to examine this boob forreal now.
I mean I just couldn't fathom that blood could be coming from my breast. How? From where? I stood and looked at every inch of my size C breasts and didn't see blood or scabbing anywhere in sight.
Nope it’s not me. Someone’s playing tricks on me.
That night i decided to wear one of my husbands white wife beaters to bed. If that splooge is on this damn wife beater when I wake up in the morning...so.help.ME...
We had just moved in to our brand new house. Lord, please don’t burst this little bubble of happiness I’ve been floating in.
8 hours later...
FUUUUUUUUCK. There it is. This time big its big as day. In my face like, Hey girl hey!
Ok maybe it more like the size of a nickel but that’s big when you have no idea exactly where its coming from!
My nipple? Is this shit coming from my nipple?!?! I give it a squeeze. I felt like I was on an episode of Reading Rainbow or Sesame Street when you’re trying to show the kids where milk comes from...except I’m not a cow and this ain’t milk. It’s BLOOD.
Ok Jennifer. Don’t panic. Do not panic.